We talk about toxic relationships, but what about toxic friends?
Maybe I am too woke, but your friends can be toxic. The girls you call your sisters, or besties, may be just as toxic as your ex-boyfriend. Recently I was watching Girlfriends, and the friend group is just outrageously poisonous. Why is Joan allowing her friends to live rent free in her house, sending money to her friends, and allowing her own girlfriends to talk down on her?
Now I know there is a common debate as to whether or not Joan or Toni were more toxic, but am I safe to say that both are equally as toxic? Even though I admire Joan’s character, portrayed by Tracee Ellis Ross, her success as an attorney was admirable. Even though her character switch during the middle of the show made me side eye her, she decided to put herself first during the time period Toni got married. Not going to lie, I did side eye Joan for trying to lowkey sabotage Toni’s wedding. In the first episode, I would’ve blocked all of these people. On the brighter side, I do think that all young women should watch Girlfriends to not only be inspired to be a career-driven woman, but to recognize the signs to watch out for in toxic women. To be honest, my favorite girlfriend was Mya and even William.
In my opinion, I believe that women let their friends be toxic because they can’t foresee their close friends, whom they view as family, being worse than their significant others. On the other side of the coin, some women will cut off their friends for the smallest thing, but let their boyfriends treat them like trash. That is a discussion for another day. I have heard so many stories of friends who were in friendships where they were treated like outsiders, felt ostracized, and were only contacted last minute to feel like a late-night booty call. I have always learned that if a person only thinks of you last minute, but thinks of others on time, you are not their friend… you are simply being disrespected.
I will never forget one year in high school where a friend of mine was in a friend group. She would vent to me about how a specific friend group would hang out without her, but suddenly got upset when she decided to hang out with other friends. To be honest, I was confused. How can a friend group leave one specific person out of the group, but feel upset when the outsider decides to put themselves first? Was it because of jealousy? Was my friend the butt of jokes in this friend group? Lastly, what the hell is wrong with some women? Thankfully, my friend is not in this current predicament with the toxic wannabe mean girls.
Below, I have attached my list to know when your friend is toxic.
- Your friend contacts you last minute for a special gathering, but everyone else got an invite days or weeks before.
- Your friend is in a romantic relationship and doesn’t contact you at all. When they break up, now they suddenly want to be friends.
- Whenever you and your friend hang out, the conversation is always about a man. When the conversation is about you, your career, or even hobbies, your friend gets upset and wants the conversation to be about them.
- I may get side eyes for this, but have you ever noticed that when you talk to a certain friend, they always have something bad happen to them? Then all of a sudden, their energy starts to rub off on you? Yeah, end that friendship now pookie, or have a serious talk with them.
I posted a Thread earlier this week, and I honestly expected the answers to be different. As a content creator, I have noticed some friendships being ruined due to social media…and sometimes the reasons are valid. Now we all know that the algorithm on Instagram is vicious, and you will barely see posts from people you know. On the other hand, I do side eye people who view all of their friend’s stories, react to them, but won’t even like or comment. I vividly remember when I had a discussion with a friend, and they told me every single thing that I posted. They complimented me about my content, and how informative it was.
Not going to lie, your girl was flattered. After this discussion, I saw that this specific person did not like a SINGLE post of mine, was in every single one of my stories, and knew all of my posts like their life depended on it. I do want to emphasize that there are friends who hate social media and use the weather app more than logging into Instagram. (To be honest, I stan them). Also, there are friends who would comment on a post from the Kardashians but will never comment on a post of yours. My personal advice: be honest with your friends. If your friend can’t understand your point of view, you have to go with your gut.
